I bought this book “100 days in the Secret Place” by Gene Edwards. Here, the author gathered the writings of 3 Christian mystics from the 17th century — Michael Molinos, Madam Guyon and Francois Fenelon — and challenges Christians to walk deeper in God. This has recently become one of my devotional readings. 

I must say that I have been richly blessed. Look at this short extract (pg. 125) and my personal reflection on it.

“An excellent way to maintain a quiet spirit is to let go of every action just as soon as you complete it. Don’t keep thinking about what you have or have not done! And don’t blame yourself for forgetting something, or for doing something you regret. You will be much happier if you keep your mind only on the tasks at hand. Think of something only when it is time to think of it. God will tell you when the time comes to deal with something. You will exhaust your mind by trying to figure out God’s will before the right time comes. Make a habit of bringing your attention back to God on a regular basis. You will then be able to quiet your inner commotion as soon as it starts to churned up.” - Pg. 125 Fenelon

I could definitely identify with what was written. Fourteen years ago, I started my journey desiring to hear God’s voice. It was a desperate cry within for more of God and less of religion. I was doing everything a Christian should do and yet, I felt a great sense of emptiness. Religious activities and responsibilities only weighed me down. While I was happy serving God, my walk with God was merely based on my works for Him. It was performance-driven rather than relationship-based. I thought I had to work hard to earn God’s approval and acceptance.

The harder I tried, the more miserable I felt. I wanted to know God more. I wanted to experience His presence and feel His reality. I wanted to know GOD more than just going through a set of religious activities and regulations. I wanted LIFE in God.

This desperation led me to yearn to hear His voice. I was reading the Bible then. But it was dry. It was a religious obligation. I wanted God to speak through His word. I wanted His guidance to be so real - the way it was promised in the Bible.

It was hard initially for me to hear God. I thought I had to be more spiritual. I thought I had to be more holy. I thought I was bad: “That must be why God hasn’t spoken with me yet!”  I struggled with doubts, unbelief and inadequacies. I tried too hard.

My breakthrough came in 1995 when I started practising His presence. The 1st step was simple. I had to be quiet to listen in order for God to speak. I dedicated a set time then to talk with Him daily, but was disappointed with myself initially. As I remained quiet for 1 minute, I became distracted. Instead of focusing on God, I was thinking of my assignment. I was thinking of everything else rather than God. I blamed myself for not being a good Christian and lacking the ability to concentrate even for a few minutes. So what started out as quietness became a session where I continued to blame myself for having distracting thoughts.

BUT the breakthrough came when I discovered that I should not be blaming myself. Instead of blaming myself, I could draw my attention back to God again without feeling guilty or frustrated. It was then I discovered an important lesson. My focus should not be on self but on God. I should not keep blaming myself; I should simply surrender these distractions to God and continue waiting on Him quietly.

The quietness to wait on Him can be broken by an inner unrest of our soul. Too often, we fall into the enemy’s trap to join him to condemn ourselves. Rather than allowing this to distract us further, we should simply trust that God is in control. God is bigger than our distractions. He knows our concerns. We just need to re-direct our concerns and needs back to Him, and continue waiting and resting in His presence. We just need to trust GOD and not be too caught up trying to figure out His will; just trust that He will speak with us and guide us in His good timing.

I share my experience to encourage you in your journey of seeking God. Many Christians face what I faced then; struggling to hear God, struggling to keep their walk with God alive. Too often, we think we have to be good enough, we have to do more, we have to be more disciplined before we can hear God. There is an element of truth to that; but we have balance it with the fact that God is a God of grace. A loving Father will always speak with his children; whether they are obedient or rebellious. If this is true on earth, how much more does it reflect the patience and love of our HEAVENLY FATHER.

God desires to talk with you more than you desire to listen to Him. So, rest in Him. Struggle no more. Quieten your spirit - focus not on yourself. Focus on Him and wait to listen to His voice.

So, be encouraged today. Quieten yourself… wait expectantly for the Lord to speak. He WILL.

Shalom,

Rev. Bryan Tan

Bryan Tan Ministries

Lifting People into their Destinies